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"Two's a Crowd"
Season 8, episode # 19
# 176 overall in series (205 episodes)
"All in the Family" episode
Series: All in the Family
Network/Country: CBS-TV / USA
Air date February 12, 1978
Production code 818 (8x19)
Written by: Phil Sharp
Directed by: Paul Bogart
Guest starring: None
IMDb logo.png IMDb: Two's a Crowd
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Two's a Crowd is the 19th episode of Season 8 of All in the Family, and the 176th overall episode in the series. Written by Phil Sharp, the episode, which was directed by Paul Bogart, originally aired on CBS-TV on February 12, 1978.


"Two's a Crowd"
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Full Credits Transcripts More Images

Synopsis

Mike and Archie get locked together in the storage room at Archie's Place and have a long talk.

Storyline

Archie and Mike are alone in the bar cleaning up. Everyone has gone home and Edith and Gloria are away on vacation with little Joey. While moving things into the storeroom, Mike closes the door behind him with the key on the outside - the only way out. Trapped for the night, Mike and Archie down a bottle of booze while covered with a tarp left over from Kelcy's days.

As the booze soak in they begin to talk, mostly about why Archie is so prejudice against people who are different. Mike is stunned when Archie reveals not only taunting from his classmates over the fact that he had to wear one shoe and one boot, thus giving them the nickname "Shoobootie", but that his father was a very abusive man who corrected Archie by hitting him and locking him in the closet for days at a time.

Yet, Archie defends his father none-the-less. Finally, Archie passes out on the floor and Mike, who is still stunned, covers him with the tarp and wishes "Shoobootie" a good night.

Did You Know?

Connections

References
  • The Lawrence Welk Show - Mentioned in character dialogue

Trivia/Notes

  • This is the only episode in the series in which Archie Bunker uses the racial slur "nigger", while in a conversation with Mike, on how he had once used the word as a kid, in getting "beat up" by the black kid he said it to.
  • Jean Stapleton and Sally Struthers both do not appear.
  • The episode's title comes from the expression, "two's company, but three's a crowd."

Scene excerpts

Quotes

  • Mike: Did you ever think that possibly your father just might be wrong?
  • Archie: My old man? Don't be stupid. My old man? Let me tell you, he was never wrong about nothing.
  • Mike: Yes he was, Arch. My old man used to call people the same things as your old man. But I knew he was wrong. So is your old man.
  • Archie: Don't tell me my father was wrong. Let me tell you something, a father who made you is wrong? A father, the breadwinner of the house there? The man who goes out and busts his butt to keep a roof over your head and clothes on your back you call him wrong? Father, that's the man that comes home, bringing you candy. Father is the first guy to throw a baseball to you. And take you for walks in the park holding you by the hand? My father held me by the hand, hey, my father had a hand on him though I tell you. He busted that hand once, and he busted the other on me to teach me to do good. My father, he shoved my in a closet for seven hours to teach me to do good, 'cause he loved me. Don't be looking at me. Let me tell you something, you're supposed to love your father 'cause your father loves you. How can any man who loves you tell you anything that's wrong?

  • Archie: You don't trust nobody out there except your own kind. You remember that, Meathead.
  • Mike: That's another thing. Meathead. Why must you always call me Meathead?
  • Archie: What the hell... Why does that bother you? I'll bet I wasn't the first to call you 'Meathead'.
  • Mike: You were the only one to ever call me Meathead. They never called me that in school. They called me Michael or Mike, or Mickey.
  • Archie: Well, what a sweet little school you went to there.

  • Mike: What did they call you in school?
  • Archie: Different things.
  • Mike: Tell me, what did they call you in school?
  • Archie: Well, I remember one winter during the Depression when we didn't have any money because my father lost his job, we was all bust. And I wore out a shoe. One shoe. So I couldn't go to school with only one shoe. But my mother found a boot, so I had a shoe on one foot there and a boot on the other. A shoe and a boot. So the kids call me 'Shoebootie'.
  • Mike: They used to call you 'Shoebootie', huh?

[laughs]

  • Archie: They used to holler, "Tutti fruitti, here comes Shoebootie." They called me that until they learned my name was Archibald and they thought that was funny. And then I wished they'd go back to 'Shoebootie'.

  • Mike: The kids all made fun of you, huh?
  • Archie: Yeah, they all made fun of me. Except for this one little black kid named Winston.
  • Mike: A black kid liked you?
  • Archie: No, the black kid beat the hell out of me.
  • Mike: Why? He must have had a reason.
  • Archie: Well he said that I said he was a "nigger".
  • Mike: Did you?
  • Archie: Sure. That's what all them people were called in them days. Everybody we knew called them people niggers. It's all my old man called'em there. What the hell was I supposed to do? I didn't know what to call them. I couldn't call him a Wop. I couldn't call him Wop, 'cause Wop is what we called the Dagos.

  • Mike: Good night, Shoebootie.

Cast (in Credits Order)

Main Cast

Guest Stars/Recurring Cast

  • No guests appear in this episode.

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