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"The Baby Contest"
Season 7, episode # 13
# 145 overall in series (205 episodes)
"All in the Family" episode
Series: All in the Family
Network/Country: CBS-TV / USA
Air date December 11, 1976
Production code 714 (7x132)
Teleplay by: Larry Rhine & Mel Tolkin
Story by: Marion Zola & Ed Haas
Directed by: Paul Bogart
Guest starring: Jason Wingreen
Allan Melvin
Danny Dayton
IMDb logo IMDb: The Baby Contest
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The Baby Contest is the 13th episode of Season 7 of All in the Family, and the 145th episode of the series. Written as a teleplay by Larry Rhine and Mel Tolkin from an original story written by Marion Zola and Ed Hass, the episode, which was directed by Paul Bogart, originally aired on CBS-TV on December 11, 1976.

"The Baby Contest"
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Full Credits Transcripts More Images


Despite the objections of Mike and Gloria, Archie enters his grandson in a beautiful baby contest.


Archie gets into an argument with Barney Hefner over who has the cuter grandchild. When Archie learns Barney has enter his grandchild in a newspaper's beautiful baby contest, Archie decides to do the same and tries to get the perfect snapshot of Joey. However, he soon has a battle on his hands when Mike and Gloria forbid him to enter Joey into the contest, as the two then make fun of the beauty contest concept, which Archie does'nt particularly find very funny.

In the end, when the guys at Kelsey's Bar find out that both babies were disqualified because of "too many phony votes", it's revealed to them that the contest judges got suspicious when they received two votes in Judge Vanderbart's name, a local judge who was recently sentenced to prison, as Archie and Barney placed fake votes with the judge's name for their grandchildren, thinking that the other would use his name to place a vote. Mike, who had been waiting with Archie and the guys for the contest results, but had left before Hank received the call from the contest, gets the last laugh.

Did You Know?[]


Archie Bunker accurately predicts that Ronald Reagan will win the presidency in 1980.

Scene excerpts[]


  • Archie: [to Mike] You're gonna get Reagan in 1980, wise guy!

  • Mike: Archie, [to Archie] In the last election you didn't like Carter, you didn't like Ford so he wrote in Richard Nixon.

  • Edith: Archie, did you really write in "Richard Nixon"?
  • Archie: Of course not. I wrote in Reagan!

  • Archie: (to Barney Hefner) I wanna make sure I get my ten simoleons out of you when I win that bet. 'Cause your baby Linda ain't gonna win. She's too fat to win. In a few years time, she's gonna be a teenage bus.
  • Barney: Well all I have to say is too bad it wasn't a baldy contest.
  • Archie: You hear that, he's always on the baldy thing over here. You're gonna lose an old friend that way, Barney.
  • Mike: (to both Archie and Barney) That's competition for you: two best friends ready to bust each other in the chops over who's got the most beautiful grandchild.
  • Barney: (to Mike) Hey, you know what just occured to me about little Joey? I mean since he's got those long, beautiful eyelashes? You should've entered him as a baldy girl!
  • Mike: (retorting back to Barney) Hey. Watch what you're saying, that's my son!

  • Archie: Hit him below the belt, he's over the hill!


Soundtrack Credits
  • There She Is, Miss America - (uncredited)

Lyrics written by Bernie Wayne, portion sung by Rob Reiner

  • Who's Your Little Who Zis (uncredited)

Lyrics by Ben Bernie, Al Goering, & Walter Hirsch Portion sung by Carroll O'Connor and Jean Stapleton

Cast (in Credits Order)[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Stars/Recurring Cast[]

More external links[]