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"Mike and Gloria's Will"
Season 7, episode # 10
# 142 overall in series (205 episodes)
"All in the Family" episode
Series: All in the Family
Network/Country: CBS-TV / USA
Air date November 20, 1976
Production code 709 (7x10)
Written by: Bill Richmond & Gene Perret
Directed by: Paul Bogart
Guest starring: None
IMDb logo IMDb: Mike and Gloria's Will
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Mike and Gloria's Will is the tenth episode of Season 7 of All in the Family, and the 142nd episode in the series; it is also the first part of a two-part episode story arc. Written by Bill Richmond and Gene Perret, the episode, which was directed by Paul Bogart, originally aired on CBS-TV on November 20, 1976.

"Mike and Gloria's Will"
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Full Credits Transcripts More Images


After a near-death experience, Mike, with Gloria in agreement with him, decides that they should name someone to take care of Joey in the event of their deaths, and it isn't Archie and Edith. When Mike and Gloria are preparing their will, they have a problem, actually it's Mike, that has a problem, with having Archie as one of the guardians for little Joey. And it's safe to say neither Archie nor Edith take this news very well.


On Joey's first birthday, Mike comes home with his clothes torn up and tells Gloria that, while waiting for the subway, he slipped off of the platform and fell on the tracks just as the car was coming. The good news is that he was rescued by two men, the bad news is that they picked his pocket. Anyway, Mike explains that the experience has made him aware that they both could be taken away from this world at any second and that Joey would have no one to take care of him.

Rather than Archie and Edith, they name their friends Al and Trudy, something that Mike is even more resolved to do when he learns Archie had bought Joey a toy machine gun at the store. Archie, as one might expect, is angered ... but Edith is even more so when Mike calls Archie a "bad grandfather;" even Gloria is upset that Mike is too tough on his father-in-law. Gloria then tells Mike about Al making a pass at her and Mike realizes they aren't going to make good guardians either. They decide to leave the matter unresolved as they declare humorously at Joey's birthday party to Archie and Edith that they "will never die", which has Archie beside himself!

Did You Know?[]


Mike has every right to have the conversation with Gloria of who will raise Joey if anything ever happened to them, because Mike's parents were killed in a car accident when he was a kid.

Scene excerpts[]

  • Archie: Little boys who play with dolls grow up to be other boys' roommates.

  • Archie: Wait 'til you hear this, Edith. They decided not to will Joey to anyone, and you know why? 'Cause they decided they ain't never gonna die.

  • Archie: I would take will into court and have it thrown out.
  • Mike: On what grounds?
  • Archie: On the courtroom grounds under the windows.

  • Archie: You're supposed to be the big bug on the Constitution, right? Well the first amendment guarantees that baby the right to bear a machine gun?
  • Mike: The first amendment guarantees free speech.
  • Archie: Same thing, buddy boy. If you got a gun in your hand, you're free to make any speech you want to.

  • Archie: I'm gonna give this to somebody else.

[tries to take the doll away from Gloria and in the process pulls its head off]

  • Gloria: Aah! Daddy! Well I can't give it to Joey like this.
  • Archie: Alright, maybe you can find some poor, deserving little kid who would like a 'decrapitated' pee-pee doll.


Soundtrack Credits

Happy Birthday to You - (uncredited) Written by Mildred J. Hill and Patty S. Hill, sung by Sally Struthers

Cast (in Credits Order)[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Stars/Recurring Cast[]

  • No guest stars appear in this episode.

More external links[]